mh (--), tv show, fictional and hypothetical assault mention
I've been watching a TV show that's making me feel things. I was already feeling too much as it is. I really like the show, but holy shit it's hitting too close.
Like, I knew when we decided to transition that I was assuming the risk of one day being assaulted for being trans and/or a woman. But it fell way below all of my excitement of finally getting to be a girl, and I pulled us all along whether we all wanted to or not. I'm really sorry about that, Lane.
This show reminded me that it's absolutely something that can happen.
And then it also had to remind me of how hard it is for me to let myself be physically around other trans folx, especially other transfems. I'm embarrassed of how bad I'm doing with this transition and how much better everyone else is doing. That's why I have pretty much never been able to get myself to go to the local support group. Jitsi-ing with Audrey and others has helped me a tiny bit with that embarrassment I feel, but I don't know how it is going to transfer to meatspace when *gestures around at the current situation* all this dies down.